"Didn’t Work The Way You Wanted It To" Talk

[Big Nate]

Ok I know everyone on the interlink can make it look like they are the smartest person in the world. But this thread is not for that it is for all the dumb stuff you have done that as either lost you money, time, or whatever. As you look around the forum you will notice that I am not scared to laugh at myself and my shortcomings in life. So this thread is for everyone to post something like that.



One of many things that I have done that I am posting here is. When I was 18 I went to Jackpot junction. Sat down at a blackjack table and started to play. Mind you that I had played blackjack before so I understood the basic idea. One hand cam up and I had a king and a 3. The dealer was showing a jack. So when it was my turn I toke hit and got a 7. For whatever reason I said hit again and busted like strap on at a lesbian convention. What I didn’t tell you was that I had over $500 down on that hand and no gas to get home. When the deal toke the cards and chips I was like what the hell and grabbed his hand. He said let go now and before I could say give me my money there was two guys with guns grabbing my arms and slamming me to the floor with little regard for my bad back. They had me in cuffs and drug into a side room in seconds. A security agent showed me the tape of my lose and then told me not to come back to the casino for one year as he kicked me out the door and into the parking lot. Two other guards helped me find my car and the made sure I left the lot. I only made it half way home on the gas I had and then pulled over and called my dad to come and get me. My dad was three hours away in Fridley. That was the worst thing ever when I had to sit and listen to him tell me how stupid I was.


Well like I said that is just one thing I will be posting in this thread. Now let hear some of your stories. If you tell me you have never done anything dumb then you’re a liar.

Nate

 

[dmention7]

Wow, that's a good one.... I'm gonna have to think for a bit to come up with something on par with that.

 

[AJ]

Nate, I was able to visualize the whole thing. That rocked!

I'm wondering what I can and can't say, I have a wife watching.

 

[Big Nate]

Here it is.

 

[Workdawg]

Probably 8 years ago me and my two cousins are shooting a BB gun at a cardboard box up north. In the garage we found a 22 bullet and tried to tape it to the end of the BB gun, so that the BB would make the bullet fire when we shot it (we were in the middle of the woods and aimed in a direction where there were no people). Well, the taping failed, so I decided to hold the 22 round up to the end of the BB gun. Needless to say, it worked. It also burned my finger (imagine that).

No long lasting effects and we didn't manage to somehow hit anyone/thing.

 

[JustROLLIN]

I have a story: I was driving home one night after leaving a friend's house. I was headed north on Cleveland Ave in St. Paul, right by St. Thomas University. There was a white Ford Taurus in front of me going 20mph in a 35mph zone. I have very little patience for these types of drivers which I demonstrated by putting my front bumper about 2-3' from the rear bumper of the Taurus. The Ford then turns on his left turn signal, I speed up and pass on the right side. While passing on the right side, I roll down my window, lay on the horn, and give the driver the ole one finger salute. I roll to the stoplight about a half-block up the road. By this point, I have rolled up my window and sunk back into my seat, only to be starttled by a "tap tap tap" on my driver's side window. I look over to see a uniformed officer who yells, "Pull the fuck over...NOW" I peer into my rearview mirror to see the white Taurus behind me with the Miami Vice style single red light on the dash. After a serious tongue lashing from the uniformed officer, an undercover officer gets out of the unmarked car and proceeds to bitch me out as well. After all the BS, the cop actually turned out to be pretty cool. He gave me a ticket for following to closely, but that was it.

Apparently they were undercover to try and stop dealers in and around the St. Thomas area.

 

[mazdamn02]

Solid story Joe, lol. Nothing beats that sinking feeling one gets after doing something incredibly dumb then getting called out for it.

 

[JustROLLIN]

Solid story Joe, lol. Nothing beats that sinking feeling one gets after doing something incredibly dumb then getting called out for it.

Yeah, I was pretty frank with the officer as well. He asked me why I was riding his bumper, so I told him... You were doing 20mph in a 35mph zone. He replied by politely letting me know he "Can drive however fucking fast I want to." :busted2:

 

[mazdamn02]

Yeah, I was pretty frank with the officer as well. He asked me why I was riding his bumper, so I told him... You were doing 20mph in a 35mph zone. He replied by politely letting me know he "Can drive however fucking fast I want to." :busted2:

That's awesome, I'll bet he enjoyed saying that, lol. I can see him getting a beer afterwards telling his buddies, "that's when i told him i can drive..." :rollinglaugh:

 

[dmention7]

That is a great story. I would've felt like quite the douche afterwards, but hey... shit happens. And that's why we have this thread.

Speaking of which, I'm editing the thread title. It's annoying the hell out of me! Nate at his finest...

 

[JustROLLIN]

That is a great story. I would've felt like quite the douche afterwards, but hey... shit happens. And that's why we have this thread.

Speaking of which, I'm editing the thread title. It's annoying the hell out of me! Nate at his finest...

Oh yeah, I felt horrible about the whole thing. And then even worse when I saw the increase for insurance, esp. for something so stupid. :sex020:

 

[holmstar]

Ok, here's one of mine. One night I was in st. Paul driving my buddy to his car. We pulled up to a red light next to a guy in a bmw. I was feeling a bit cocky, and other than the two of us, the street was deserted, so when the light turned green I peeled out tires screaming and left him in the dust. No sooner did I do that, my buddy says, "woah stop my cars right here", so I pulled onto the nearest side street and stopped. My buddy gets out, and suddenly there are headlights in my rear-view. The guy gets out and my buddy takes off. I stayed in the car as the guy walks up to my door, and damn is he pissed! He tells me off and says he's an off-duty cop. I was skeptical, but not really in any position to argue, as he appeared to outweigh me by 100lbs (I weigh 200). I figured that the most logical option was to agree with his acusation that I was a total moron. At which point he seemed satisfied enough to walk away and drive off.

Months later got a speeding ticket in st Paul, and the cop bore a striking resemblance to the dude in the bmw. Guess he wasn't shitting me.

 

[mazdamn02]

That sucks. you should have tried the entrapment argument, and then argued with him in pig latin. lol!

 

[holmstar]

I'm pretty sure he didn't recognize me. He was very polite, and only gave me a ticket for 9 over, when I was easily doing twice that.

 

[Jesse MS3GT]

Im sure everyone here thinks im dumb as a box of rocks but I dont care I personally laugh at myself often and I am never afraid to admit my many faults... Nothing wrong with that.

I tried using some smarts to get my blatantly dumbass out of major trouble, though. My first years of driving were ticket filled and accident filled. I pretty much went 15mph over everywhere, did burnouts and e slides(winter) on a weekly basis.. The tickets and insurance rates got me to stop though. First 3 years of driving: 4 accidents and 6+ tickets. Last three: no accidents and one ticket. My last three years of driving have been three times the mileage as well. Anyway...

Back when I was in HS and fresh off the FAST N FURIOUS bandwagon... I had a 95 civic with an ls swap with i/h/e thinking my 15.1 second car was king shit. Anyway one day after school on my way home I decided to lay some rubber around a corner where the oil pump house was. So I revved up the hamsters and dumped the clutch... As I am going around the corner with smoke pouring from my one wheel wonder burnout I see a cop parked in the driveway of the pump house. I kept burning out but shortly there after I pulled over. About 30 seconds later the cop comes behind me with his cherries on. Steps out comes up to my car and asks "Know why i stopped you?" Being the smartass I was, i said "You didnt pull me over, I was pulled over before I even saw your cherries, but im guessing its because I spun my tires."

Cop took my license/insurance and said "I wouldnt call that just a burnout, I would call it careless driving." And proceeds to give me a ticket for careless driving. How did I not see the cop? I wasnt paying attention...

However I did use some smarts to get the ticket lowered. I looked up the city ordinance for "unreasonable acceleration"

§ 71.02 UNREASONABLE ACCELERATION.

(A) UNREASONABLE ACCELERATION OF A MOTOR VEHICLE is hereby defined as acceleration which unnecessarily breaks traction between a tire or tires and the driving surface, thereby causing a prolonged squealing or screeching sound. Prolonged squealing or screeching sound shall constitute prima facie evidence of unreasonable acceleration.

(B) Any act of unreasonable acceleration as hereinabove defined by any motor vehicle upon any street, road, parking lot or driving way, private or public, within the corporate limits of Brooklyn Park is hereby declared to be a public nuisance and is prohibited.{

When you get careless driving its an automatic mandatory court appearance. I argued that "I did screech my tires for a prolonged amount of time and nowhere in the ordinance does it state after x amount of feet does it become careless" the prosecutor did not want to budge and give me the lowered speeding ticket until I said I was prepared to argue that in court, then he finally gave in. I think I may have found a loophole but my dumbass SHOULD have gotten careless for sure. Burning 100+ feet of rubber in front of a cop is one of the dumbest things you can do.

 

[Z-licious]

However I did use some smarts to get the ticket lowered. I looked up the city ordinance for "unreasonable acceleration"

Linky no worky.

So wait, you're saying as long as you don't break traction it's can't be considered unreasonable acceleration? So if I can do stoplight runs from 0-60 in my Veyron in 3 seconds with super sticky tires and the cop is just going to give me the thumbs up? Really?

 

[ZoomZoom Diva]

As long as the speed limit is 60 mph or greater and you are in control of the car for the conditions...

 

[ZoomZoom Diva]

[29-02, 09:53] dmention7 I do.
[29-02, 09:53] ZoomZoom Diva Why not just use a turkey baster at that point?

...when shoutbox lag can change the meaning of what you were saying...

 

[Jesse MS3GT]

Linky no worky.

So wait, you're saying as long as you don't break traction it's can't be considered unreasonable acceleration? So if I can do stoplight runs from 0-60 in my Veyron in 3 seconds with super sticky tires and the cop is just going to give me the thumbs up? Really?

This is what the ordinance in BROOKLYN PARK states.

If you really want to see the city ordinance youd have to go to http://brooklynpark.org then search for "ordinance" and click on code of ordinances or you could just start at their legal page directly

http://www.amlegal.com/brooklyn_park_mn/ then click "no frames" then click "contents" on left hand side, then click "title VII traffic code" then click under 71. "Traffic Rules" and scroll down to 71.02 "unreasonable acceleration".

I have gunned it 0-40mph once in front of a cop and was pulled over(I was 17 mind you); he threatened me with unreasonable acceleration. I said to him the way I read the ordinance I had to squeal my tires, and of course he said no thats not what it says..

Im in no way saying you should do that, but if you read the ordinance, thats what it says

 

[AJ]

Ok, shit I'll share one of many.

A buddy and I where driving back to IA from Rochester MN. We ended up getting into a little teenage pissing match with a car load of local boys. We tried passing their slow car and everytime we did they would speed up. So thus we got pissed of and shit went downhill from there. We finally passed, and when they returned the favor they decided to moon us. Yay, just what I was looking to see right. What these fucks didn't understand is that we each had our paintball guns on hand and full of air and around 10k balls of ammo in the car if needed. See where this is going?

We make our pass once again and now all of a sudden there is a skiiny shite guy (me) hanging out of a older t-bird with a assult rifle looking gun in the dark. I opened fire, painted the car like I was firing for my life, and managed to get a few choice shots into those once again moons bitches. Lets say sitting was propably not an option from a paintball shot coming from a gun with a uncut spring. So they chase us and we play cat and mouse though the town of Preston for 30-40 min as they now wants to pull numbers (5-2) and kick some ass.

Fast forward to finnally getting away and getting into IA and hanging out at a friends apartment. A knock on the door a few hours later was the local PD. Time to head downtown and see wtf I got us into. It started as Aggrevated assult and attempt to do bodily harm charge (fuck the attempt, those asshole that I hit in the car had to have been hurt'n). A little pleaing and such and I was now pleading guilty to a missdermeaner charge and a year probation in which case if I stayed clean and out of trouble it was whipped from my record.

Needless to say paintball was never really the same without the rush of hanging from a car at 60mph.

Young, Dumb, and stupid as hell.

But that's my shit.